nervous breakdown here i come!!!

my house got raided they were looking for a guy they thought was here aint no lie!
they was wrong he wasnt here boy i think i need a beer
shoot me with a tranquilizer dart just knock me out
before i just scream and shout. ha ha lol

lost planet

I feel as if Im in a movie where every other life form has perished leaving me alone on the planet.When I write I kinda feel as if Im talking to myself [possibly I am] theres NO sign of any one else out here.Right about now I have to wonder why Im doing it ???
Realistically I am or must be truly bored.How is that possible you may ask? Life is or can be very cruel I am living with 5 people at the moment, boredom shouldnt exist. I really feel like Ive no longer got a purpose,no way to move on from here. I guess I get on here hoping that I will find a place for myself,I dont and that just leads to more of the blues.I used to know where I belonged but dont anymore, its very hard to deal with.
Too old for starting at the beginning well shit basically Im lost and dont see an end to it at all.No one understands either unless you have been in my place.Well so much for my dilemma I give up.

yoo hoo!!! anybody out there???

I think my sis is and has been jealous of my nephews girlfriend. The pic of the dog lady that said donna is a bitch whore kind of gave it away.To me its crazy this hate thing they have going. I feel donna thinks of sis as a threat to her relationship with her son.They are both mean ugly rude ,more to each other.
Its just about scary too.The backbiting is unreal, makes me cringe! Their like 2 little rats protecting their cheese from each other fearful they will lose it.Well Sherrard is in bad need of rehab for sure he stole his grandbabies ba, ba today!!!! and disapeared. After he stole his parents car! hes 46 years old [yea] I just shake my head and roll my eyes.I cant help it.
My sis has no respect or consideration others she will come over and paint some craft thing wearing my clothes or donnas and get paint all over .Then she acts like no big deal. It pisses me off when you loan out your cell for a while and when you call they dont answer!!

well i'll be damned!

I just found out yesterday that I am 250 years old and its the year of the rat???? I was surprised as hell no doubt.Has to be true my profile said so all on its own!!! Well lets see I was a kid then grew up [uh huh] had a parental alcoholic, had a kid at 16, lost child in an accident, then divorced.met great guy got married had 2 kids a girl, a boy. kids grew, relatives began assault on sanity everyones kids stoners,bouts with the law, jail for some.show real lack of brains at times
.home is raided by dea hubby burns families stuff like clothes,guitar,etc.mom passes after older brother.they all run amuck regularily,neice gets hit by car doing 45 is fine [car no] nephew gets shot in ohio with a cigar,[ yea i know] neice makes money by getting mexican dudes drunk, stealing their money,sis marries looney tic[ seriously] more jail, are we having fun yet???? bro in law beats crap out of carlos [mexican dude] thats only a bitty bit of it really.

there was?

There was this white nerdy girl that had a bunch of dogs and she resembled Paris Hilton.She lived in a place on mapquest where she ate dr.pepper cake,wrote lyrics.One day Fergie came over and she smack that dog with a dictionary! On her computer she looked on google, yahoo, myspace for gamesplay,ps2 gamecheats! because she was a cheat,she went to ebay and tried to sell Brittany Spears as a test.
I think she said she liked music by Beyonce? Then she emailed us girls at hotmail saying oh my youtube is akon while eminem played in the background.She game cheats to music lyrics.Hows that for keyword play??? yahaaaaaaa......

I am the eggman!

One day in the lunchroom at my hubbys place of employment a guy [brilliant] decided to warm his hard boiled egg in the micro no less. He took off the shell ,then placed the egg in the micro warming it for a few seconds.Smart guy sat down and bit into the egg it exploded like a grenade! startled he jumped up,there on the wall was an outline of his head in egg!!! no joke.
How was everyones thanksgiving? next yr i said im going to cracker barrel. My nephews girlfriend found a pic my sister [his mom] drew of a dog faced woman that said donna is a bitch whore. [ girlfriend]. nice touch sis.Going to jail aint got no bail Girlfriends knocked up . Some more of sis's husbands [i use this term loosly] song lyrics.A compulsive shopper he is [ and all on his way to the poor house] he bought 15 wooden jointed snakes to scare animals away worked
well the neighborhood dogs had a blast with them. He was convinced a family member was stealing his peaches off a tree in their yard,he bitched,bitched we told him no one in our family would pick them their too lazy.So a few weeks later the lady next door was out she said she had the best time watching squirrels run across on the cable ,steal his damn peaches. finally hes the official ass.!!

only in kentucky!!

I emailed the governor the other day and told him only in ky. can a pervert watch a person urinate and do it legally.we have these drug testing programs whereby you have to go give a sample. to be tested for drug use that get weirder all the time. now you have to use one hand to hold urine cup while the other hand is on the wall and your clothing is up and down to fully expose your hoo haa! next i expect your going to have to do all this while standing on your head! to make matters worse an employee is looking over your shoulder right next to you as if their NOT looking to make sure you dont cheat . you could only cheat if you had more than 2 arms, hands! and this is PRE trial. in ky your guilty until proven innocent!
our new state motto is 'kentucky arrive on vacation, leave on probation! 2 guys i know were pulled over searched, etc they were just about to be let go when collonapins started falling out of the one guys pantleg! needless to say they spent the night in the slammer. but it has come to light recently that people have been sentenced to 5-10 yrs for drug charges only to find when receiving a motion of discovery that NO lab work was done to substantiate or prove drugs were involved. that is scary! and how dumb is it that a person can get a motion of discovery telling them who ratted them out? sounds dangerous to me. i told the gov.its no wonder ky. has never been able to live down the backwoods hillbilly stigma because of the way they do business. really stupid, really really stupid!

Wrong Place,Wrong Time

A month or so ago my nephew borrowed my daughters boyfriends car.He was at a storage rental place making a bid on the contents that had not been paid for.He had just pulled out onto the road when a cruiser was on him.Driving on a suspended license I would say he was a bit reluctant to stop.So he took off well he decided to jump out but the automatic door locks wouldnt unlock.
Throwing the car into neutral was the only way he could get out so he did.On foot he was running with police chasing him.Rounding a corner where officers couldnt see him he flung the altoids can into a drain pipe[ possibly drugs]Well they caught him and he was arrested so when we talked to the police they said he ran into a house and I thought they meant on foot.Ohhhh Nooooo! the car ran into a house!!
When he was younger he went to the mall with a friend and tried out these magnetic earings but he used them for nose rings.Well the magnets magnetized to each other and slipped way up his nose.Thus leaving him unable to get them out.Sis was going to go get a long pair of magnetic things similar to hemos and remove them herself but I think she opted for the more civilized route[ ER]

7 hour cut!!

One morning my sis called and said she had been wanting a haircut for months and Abner wouldnt pay for it.So she got hammered and did it herself I asked well how did it turn out? She started laughing and said it took 7 hours and she looks like she had chemo.She said she has bald spots all over I couldnt help it I busted up laughing.I told her to get a knit hat to wear which she did till it grew back.A couple months later she asked if I needed a haircut I looked at her as if she were nuts and said naaaaaaaaa dont think so.
When she was telling me about her hair she said remember Sherrards hair when he was high and pulled his hair out? I said yea she said well its worse.That morning Abner got up and looking at her he said why didnt you say you wanted a haircut?Abner thinks hes always right better at everything than anyone else. He writes songs[scary] with lyrics like 'came home to no dinner boy I married a winner'He gets drunk and screams that she doesnt VALUE him.She isnt allowed to grocery shop nor put anything in the cart she would like to have.He calls her woman!I really HATE this moron!rude,crude,socially impolite!

Abners road to recovery

Abner is my little sis's second husband and though I dont like to talk about people he deserves it.He is all the time telling other people to accept responsibility for their actions.Yet he never does he rolled his truck down an embankment and said a car ran him off the road.So he slept a few hours in the woods by his wrecked truck.At a cookout he got mad and ran over their cooler.Hes the ass screaming at his wife in wal mart thinking he looks big and she small well if hes so smart why doesnt he see he looks like the ass?
Abner used to sell weed till he went paranoid,[true] he lived in a house made out of ammo boxes and kept them yrs after he moved.So he buried them all over the county to keep his weed in and he moves the weed every 3 months he has this down to a science.He leaves the boxes in the ground to reuse moving it according to weather and hunting seasons This guy put locks on their house so you have to have a key to get out!!

analyze this!

I don't condone everything the young adults in the family do nor do I always agree with it.But I know eventually they grow out of the Im invincible stage,if I can help keep them out of jail and alive long enough the time will come.Quite frankly some things they do I wouldnt unless of course I had a yearning for an ass whipping by a 250 pound dude thats mad because the drugs he thought he was buying were really ice cream salt or quartz.
Ripping people off is always an emergency tactic once I was at the store and my daughter called me and said there was an angry mob at our house looking for Todd.I told her to go out and tell them I am 5 minutes away and anybody in my drive when I get there Im running over!Im by no means a prude I grew up south of detroit when [flower power] was in.So I have done my share of getting high.But they go to extremes nearly overdosing running around bare ass naked in the apartment parking lot yelling I AM GOD I CREATED THIS AND I WILL DESTROY IT!! 2 days later waking up in jail and not having a clue why your there.
But mention a disease around Todd and in 10 minutes he'll have all the symptoms and think hes dying from it.By gosh cant die from malaria but od on morphine patch he just ate that made his face swell,turn him blue is a ok!!

Driving Dirty!!!

I knew what Todd was going to do the moment I heard the train whistle blow.Looking back at me he grinned, I saw his hand throttle the bike which by the way was a real beauty.He raced around the corner towards the tracks so I floored my gas pedal to follow.I saw the guard rails coming down just missing him.
I pulled my car up to the tracks to see where the train was then maneuvered fast around them.Arriving at home about a mile away todd was taking parts off the bike that served as a hiding place for the drugs he was carrying.I escorted him many times when he was driving dirty riding the bikes ass so as to keep any other vehicle from getting behind him.These trips usually took place in the middle of the night down dark country roads to a nearby town.
When he stopped at a stop sign and pulled away I rolled through it no one was to get on his rear end,I saw they didnt.Breaking one traffic law after another.Nearing the destination I would turn off a side street, go to a bp station to wait for his call.Receiving the call I rolled out to the street I had turned off of .I made a right turn and here he came hauling past me going the other direction so I did a 360 in the middle of the intersection.And stayed on him as we made the trip home.I was prepared to do whatever I had to if a cruiser showed too much interest in him.A escort + diversion if need be.I want to protect him until he grows some real brains.lol.