canola air freshener!

The other day I did my grocery shopping and was in a rush to tidy up the house.So I straightened up really fast and remembered I had some mango air freshener.So I went room to room spraying it in the air.Well I had a stuffy nose so I didnt pay much attention to the fact I couldnt smell it.I did briefly cross my mind but I shrugged it off until a little later when I went into the bath.Looking around I thought what the heck is this greasy stuff all over the counter and floor?I ran my hand through it and smelled then it clicked oh sh-- I looked at both cans and they were the same color I sprayed canola oil thinking it was air freshener well what a mess.But my mom has me beat she once thought right guard was hair spray and sprayed her hair with it!

stoners of some sort

Almost all of my entire family with the exception of maybe 2 are stoners,tweakers of some kind. Funk smokers or pill takers or chicken bone freaks.They are consumed by their constant quest to get a buzz going.And often go to extremes doing it.Im always amazed at what they think of next.They have been known to borrow items and pawn them without the owner knowing.When on hard times that is.But I may as well be family of the munsters as weird is an understatement.when all of them are high watch out! you combine the rehabber with the 5 vicodin 7.5's at a time with the tweaker that took 7 hours to cut their own hair.And looked like she went through chemotherapy.Bald spots all over had to wear a knit hat to cover them.Tweakers should never be allowed to use scissors or a toothbrush without adult supervision.Brushing during your fav show can cause serious damage to your gums as theres no skin left on them by the time your done.

trunk dude!

About 3:00 in the morning the phone rang,I was just heading to bed.Picking it up I said hello.A voice in a whisper said 'hey,hey'Recognizing it as a friend of our grown kids I asked why are you whispering Chris?.He answered saying the cops came to my house with a warrant for me,I ran out back and hid in the bushes.I have to hide till I can call my lawyer.He said roll out here and back into the driveway around the corner and pop your trunk. Being the help till it hurts kind of person I am I did.I drove to the next town, backed in the drive watching through my rearview mirror I saw a figure in black dive into my trunk and I pulled out.On the way I asked hey Chris on the outside chance I get pulled over and they search my car why should I tell them theres a man in my trunk or should I act surprised?Well we didnt get stopped and the next day I took him to a friends to stay till monday ever since I have called him trunk dude.And he is a royal pain in the ass arrogant,pushy,a liar that acts like everyone but him is responsible for his gas,cigarette money.He trades his families food stamps for drugs,has no character at all.